


Such Sweet Adventure I Never Knew

by tylerscreamingintothevoid



Category: All For The Game - Nora Sakavic, Dungeons & Dragons (Roleplaying Game)
Genre: Adventure & Romance, Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Banter, Barbarian Dan, Bard Nicky, Characters play D&D, Cleric Renee, Druid Aaron, Dungeon Master David Wymack, Dungeons & Dragons 5th Edition, Family Friendly, Fighter Andrew, Fighter Matt, Gen, M/M, Ranger Allison, Rogue Neil, Role-Playing Game, Sorcerer Kevin, Witty Banter, sorta?
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-25
Updated: 2018-10-25
Packaged: 2019-08-07 13:43:06
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,561
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16409543
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tylerscreamingintothevoid/pseuds/tylerscreamingintothevoid
Summary: Wymack gets the Foxes to start playing a tabletop roleplaying game together. The team pick characters and gather around the table every Thursday to play as them throughout their coach's fantasy adventure campaign. Based on Dungeons & Dragons 5th Edition, using classes and races from the game, and often referring to dice rolls, spells, and attacks.





	Such Sweet Adventure I Never Knew

**Author's Note:**

> David Wymack: The Dungeon Master.
> 
> Neil Josten: Abraham, Human Rogue.
> 
> Andrew Minyard: Andrei, High Elf Fighter.
> 
> Aaron Minyard: Ron, High Elf Druid.
> 
> Kevin Day: Kevin, Human Sorcerer.
> 
> Nicky Hemmick: Honor, Tiefling Bard.
> 
> Renee Walker: Ryn, Tiefling Cleric.
> 
> Danielle Wilds: Dani Wylde, Human Barbarian.
> 
> Matthew Boyd: Brody, Half-Orc Fighter.
> 
> Allison Reynolds: Allison, Wood Elf Ranger.

 

We open on the sad grey mid-morning sky. Chickens wander aimlessly along the dirt roads, clucking innocently as the sun’s rays pierce the mist. Petrichor is one of the smaller villages in the Palmetto State, holding only the bare necessities- a general store, a blacksmith and, of course, a tavern.

The tavern- the Foxhole- is often frequented by a small group of adventurers-  _ that's you guys _ \- known as the Foxes. 

_ “Original.” “Shut up, Josten. Let him continue.” _

So, as I was saying; the Foxhole is an appropriately sized tavern, often frequented by the group known as the Foxes. And that's where the Foxes are on this misty morning in Petrichor.

The members of the Foxes are a diverse bunch. Between humans, elves, tieflings, and a half-orc, their relationship has grown over their years of adventuring and they've learned their strengths and weaknesses, fighting together as a functional team. “ _ Alright, who just laughed?” _

One of you- the sorcerer known as… _ what name did you-? _

_ “I was just going to go with Kevin.” _

_ “Are you sure? Okay, well, we can change it later if necessary.” _ Kevin, you walk up to the bar,  there's a bartender and he leans over to you. “What’s yer poison?”

_ The Foxes laughed at the voice Wymack had put on for the bartender. It was gruffer than usual, and a little exaggerated. He raised an eyebrow at everyone around the table. “Alright, alright, are we good to get back to the story now?” _

“I'll have a vodka.”

Okay, the bartender gets you a vodka. And Ryn apparently orders one too, as does Ron. Is that everything?   
  
It’s a quiet morning when the doors swing open and in steps a stranger, one nobody has met before. You gaze upon the hooded figure, clad in tight red robes and a black hood to hide his face. The lower half of his face is also hidden by a red bandana. He steps up to the bar and orders.   
  
“Do you have just plain water?”

_ Matt snorted when Neil said that. Dan nudged him to keep quiet. _

The bartender pours him a water. “Anythin’ else?”   
  
_ “Is this the part where I-?” “Yeah, yeah.” _ __  
  
“Have you seen this man?” says the stranger, placing a flyer down on the counter.

The bartender looks at it inquisitively before pointing towards the Foxes- the motley crew now all around a wooden table in the corner. The stranger walks over and-

_ “And I stab Kevin.” _

The stranger does not stab Kevin. Instead, he leans over the table and places the flyer down onto that. Kevin, you see that it is a sketch of you. Above the image is written.  _ ‘ _ **Wanted’** , and beneath,  **‘10,000gp, to be handed to the Dragon Lord.’**

Kevin looks at the stranger and scoffs. “That’s not me.”  **Deception, 3. Fail.**

“I’m not here to get the bounty, idiot.”   
  
The stranger takes off his hood, and it’s a brown haired human with half a fringe, scars and tattoos going down the sides of his face. He has mismatched eyes, as well as a heavy burn under his left one.  _ “It’s Neil, obviously.” “Come on dude, be creative and don’t just shove yourself into the story!” “Tell that to Kevin.” _

Andrei pulls out a knife. “You’re still threatening our friend. Do you wanna die?”   
  
“Don’t even try. I’m an assassin. I assassinate people for a living. Do  _ you _ wanna die?”

“Really subtle, Neil,” chastises Kevin, getting up from the table, “but then why else would you want me, if not for the bounty? Be careful in your response.”   
  
Allison has one hand on her revolver already, not looking up from under her low slung cowboy hat.

The stranger rolls his eyes. “The name isn’t Neil. I don’t know where you got that from. I’m Abraham.”   
  
“Hail, and well met!” says Brody with a foolish grin.

Abraham rolls his eyes, again, this time with more vigour. “I want your help, okay? Is that too much to ask?”   
  
Ron makes a thoughtful noise, before saying, “well, real Neil would never say that, so how are we supposed to believe  _ fake  _ Neil?”   
  
After a smack from the Dungeon Master sitting across the table from him, Ron then decided upon saying; “You just said you were an assassin. How do we know you’re not lying?”  **Insight, 17.**

Abraham gives a smirk. “I guess that’s fair. Well, come outside and let me show you why you can trust me.”   
  
The Foxes follow Abraham outside to his horse and cart. In the back, there are three tied up soldiers; a Raven and two dragon minions. The dragon minions are folk with traditionally scarlet scales over their skin, they’re people who have devoted their lives to the Dragon Lord. 

_ “And what’s a Raven?” “Matt, roll me history.” “That’s a two, minus…” “Okay, someone else? Andrew?”  _ **History, 16.**

You know that the Ravens are a faction deeply tied to the Dragon Lord’s, often exchanging resources in order to maintain their control of Palmetto State. This particular part of the State is run by a faction called the Gunslingers.

Allison tips her hat up and glances over to Dani. Dani nods and walks over, hopping onto the back of the cart to inspect them.  **Investigation, 9. Mixed success.** She learns that while they were beaten, and tied up, she can’t be sure that they had been in a scuffle with Abraham in the first place. In other words, there’s a chance that they didn’t fight back and that it could be a trap.

“But it’s not,” says Abraham. “I’m telling the truth.”   
  
“Shut up, Josten,” mumbles Andrei, pulling his long dagger out and swings it around a few times. “I mean, Bram.”

“You’re calling me Bram now?”

Ron scoffs and hops onto the back of the cart with Dani. “Can we have limited bickering between the lovebirds,  _ please _ ? I want to  _ actually enjoy _ this game.”

“I have a problem with the Dragon Lord, and if he’s putting out a bounty on your head, well.”   
  
Kevin snickers. “You think I could kill the Dragon Lord? He’s… wait, what is he?”  **History, 11.** “He and I have history, and he’s killed Gods before.”

Abraham looks away slightly at that. “I’m aware.”   


Honor tilts his head. “What’s in it for us, cutie?"

_ Nicky earned himself a bruised arm from Andrew for that. “It’s in the game, not-!” _

Andrei squints at Honor, flipping his dagger again confidently. Honor gulps, and Ryn giggles at how pale he’s gotten. Abraham just clears his throat and crosses his arms. “In it for you? Well, if we kill him, there’ll be a lot of people in debt to us. Probably a lot of gold and fame in it for you guys.”   


Ryn perks up at the mention of gold, at the same time as Dani perks up at the mention of fame. They exchange a glance, then Brody furrows his brow. “For us, but not for you?”

Abraham groans. “Have you not been listening? I just want him dead. And I’ll do my best to keep you guys safe. Remember, I’m a super cool ninja assassin who  _ assassinates people _ . I can kill any of you.”   
  
“That’s not how the game works,” says Dani, “but okay. We’ll come along. Is there space for everyone on the cart?”   
  
Abraham pales and glances to it. “Uh…”   
  
There is.

“There is.”

You all hop on.    
  
Ron looks along the sides. “Are there seatbelts?”

There are… old-timey seatbelts, sure, why not. You all strap yourselves in. Safety first.

************

_ ”Okay, everyone needs to roll survival.” _

**6, 14, 15, 11, 18, 16, 3, 14,  and a natural 1.**

You guys travel along the road for another hour before you eventually come upon a tree blocking your path. It’s a large, thick cedar tree, and you can’t see much past it in this strange mist that doesn’t seem to want to rise. What do you do?   
  
Ron unstraps himself from where he’s sitting. “I cast… wait, what do I cast?”   
  
Dani hops down from the cart. “I’m gonna chop the tree in half, and move it out of the way.”   
  
“Guys, can’t we discuss,” mumbles Brody before he simply sighs and says, “okay, Dani, I’ll go help you out…”

The three of them get down by the tree, Ron still attempting to figure out what spells he has and how to use them, while Dani swings her greataxe down to try and cut the tree in half. Andrei squints at the tree.  **Arcana, 19. Success.** He widens his eyes and quickly unbuckles his seatbelt, toppling out of the cart. “Guys- no, get the fuck away from-”

As the tree is slashed by Dani’s greataxe, a grey puss starts to drip from it, as if bleeding. Then, there is a flash of light, as if from a firecracker, and there’s a burst of dark smoke as if a barbeque just exploded before you all. 

“I cast mage armor,” says Kevin, dully, before hopping out of the cart and casting mage armor on himself. A pale blue shimmering set of Exy armor materialises and straps onto him, as well as an Exy helmet.

_ “You put Exy into this fucking game?” _ __  
_  
_ __ Coach Wymack coughed. “Well, in this world, it’s, uhm, it’s a bloodsport.”

_ “If you haven’t noticed, coach, it is in this one too.” _

“You’re absolutely fucking kidding me, Coach,” says Ryn, pulling her quarterstaff out at the ready. “God’s sake. I mean- who’s my deity again? Ah- Apollo. Oh, Apollo’s sake. Am I doing this right?”

_ “Everyone, roll initiative.” _

First in the order is one of… well, you’ll see. The smoke dissipates and a figure is formed out of it- the figure of a haggard old woman. She staggers-  _ “A staggered haggard old woman, huh?” _ -and she casts  _ chill touch _ at you specifically, Andrei. A skeletal hand appears before you, grabbing you by the chin and drains some of your life. That’d be  _ 8HP _ to be exact. Next, she cackles, and rushes up to Ryn, grabbing her by the throat. Electricity sparks from her cold, bony fingers and you are electrified, shocked, and thrown back a few feet, after taking 10 damage.

Ryn reaches for her throat, it scorched slightly from the shocking grasp. “H-huh.” She is next in the order, and she grabs the old woman back, casting  _ inflict wounds _ . She puts the woman in a choke hold and as she does, dark necrotic energy spreads from her fingertips up the woman’s throat, dealing a total of 20 damage.  _ “Fuck, twenty?!” _ The woman splutters, and eventually drags herself out of Ryn’s grip.

Next is Allison. She pulls her revolver from its holster, aims at the old woman, and whispers, “it’s high noon, here in this lame fantasy world.”   
  
_ “Hold on, let’s establish how she looks,” said Allison, leaning over the table with a cocky grin. She raised an eyebrow. “So, Allison, she has like, a pink cowboy hat. Like, a stetson. A stetson?” _ __  
__  
_ “A stetson,” groaned Neil. “Go on.” _ __  
__  
_ “And her revolvers are like, Western revolvers, except they’ve got pearl handles, and they’re diamond encrusted.” _ __  
_  
_ __ The entire table glared at Wymack for allowing such a character to be created.

_ “Did I mention I have a pink poncho, too?”  _

...And with a flourish of said poncho, Allison pulls the trigger, her bullet shooting right through the woman’s skull, pushing her backward. “Fuck yeah, headshot!” said Allison, just a little too early as the woman keeled forward and re-affixed her skull.

Next in the order is Andrei, who surveys the situation before pulling his dual daggers and going for the woman. His first swipe misses, but with the second, he plunges his dagger into the woman’s stomach, and she screeches an unholy screech. And then she is smoke. Andrei smirks. “Do we win?”

No, you do not. The woman reforms about 20 feet away, but she looks like she’s on death’s door, holding her bleeding stomach. She tilts her head, and caws, like a raven.  _ “Kevin, roll history.”  _ **History, 7. Poor.** You feel like you recognise that cry from somewhere.

Abraham goes next, and he rushes forward and swipes with his katana.    
  
_ “Okay, so I kill her.” “Roll me to hit-” “Coach, I’m an assassin. I assassinate her!” “Neil, please…”  _ **10\. Miss.** _ “What do you mean I missed? I’m an assassin!” “Neil, it’s not your turn-” “Wait, that’s it?!” _

The rest of the smoke that remained after the witch formed accumulates into another figure- a second witch. She cackles and casts  _ chill touch _ at Andrei, who just stabbed her friend. She then casts  _ chill touch _ again, this time on Abraham, but she misses.

Dani pulls a totem from her pocket, the totem of a fox, and she inhales. The faint outline of a fox grows around her, and her eyes shift to an amber colour. “Alright, ready to get bent, you hags?” She leaps with the agility of a fox and- with the damage she did- cleaves the first witch’s head clean off, black ooze spluttering from her neck. Dani does a fist bump with Brody. “Go, Foxes!”

Kevin goes next, and his eyes go blank. His irises go a deep red, and he lifts up his left hand, the one with crimson scales creeping up past the wrist. He casts  _ magic missile _ , three darts appearing in the air before whizzing and bombarding the second witch, one after the other. His draconic powers activated, a bolt of fire also bursts from his fingertips, hitting the second witch in her chest.

Whatever remained of the smoke-  _ “Another witch, are you kidding me?” “C’mon, there’s nine of you, it’s balanced and you know it! _ ”- forms another witch, yes, who casts  _ chill touch _ twice in a row, the skeletal hands lunging towards Abraham and Allison respectively. Both hit, both of your life forces draining just that little bit. Brody lunges for the third witch with his longsword and cuts her along the chest, the rags she wears sliced open. Brody rears back, disgusted. “Gross, elderly maiden,  _ cover thyself _ !” Honor goes, finally, and plays on his guitar, the strum inspiring Abraham. Abraham is now inspired.

_ “What does that mean?” “Oh, you just add the inspiration dice to your attack roll if you want to.” “More math, and unfair gameplay? Fine, coach, you know what you’re doing, I guess.” _

On Ryn’s turn, she casts  _ healing word _ on Andrei, him feeling revitalised, then bashes the second witch across the head with her quarterstaff. Allison takes a few steps back and loads in a special bullet before shooting a devastating shot at the third witch. “Fuck you, you undead slut!” The bullet, upon impact, forces the woman’s head to explode, killing her. 

Andrei swipes the last witch once, twice, and finishes her by severing whatever’s left of her head and kicking it to the side like a football. Abraham readies his katana, and, thanks to rolling a  **natural 20** \-  _ “Yes, yes, fuck yes, I’m the best at this game, I’m the best--” _ \- slices her clean in two.

_ “And that’s where we’ll end our session. We’ll pick it up right here, next week, guys.” _

_ The entire table groaned, and Neil froze. He turned to Wymack, static. “Are you serious? I finally killed someone, and we’re done?” _ __  
_  
_ __ “We’re far from done, kid. We’ve got a whole campaign to get through, and f you liked that, then I think you’re all gonna love it.”


End file.
